For any parent their mindset shift from “ free” to “responsible ” after having a child. As if a heavy weight have dropped on their shoulders. The ego find this an opportunity to grow! It fools you into defining yourself with a parenting role. Thus a mother will play the mother role on her child and gets extremely angry if her child doesn’t follow along. It’s not just a role to her! it’s her identity, who she think she is. Obviously this creates a lot of trouble in a family dynamic. Parents cling on their child’s freedom, emotionally abusing and criticising, all under the role of “parents“. Unfortunately, such madness will cause serious damage in a child’s personality, for example the inability to become irresponsible or decisive. In some severe conditions the child might never recover from playing the role of a ” child “.
Parents! I understand the profound love you’ve for your children. Yet true love can never be expressed through the ego. The ego always seek conflicts to validate itself and the role of a parent is nothing more than a tool for the ego to stay alive inside you. In addition the superior parent role creates a boundary between the child and his parent. Because any relationship that include the ego is inauthentic.
If you really love your child and is concerned about him/ her, ask yourself these questions every time you catch yourself playing the Parent role.
1. Did I like it when my parents did ( your reaction to the situation) this to me ?
2. Is their a better way I can deliver my message ?
3. Who is the better teacher experience or what I’m going to say right now ?
4. What’s the worst case scenario of this situation ?
5. Is my actions and words showing love or the otherwise?
6. Do i really want my child to become the best? And is the “best” other than himself ?
- You can still be a parent without playing the role of a parent!
Give your child love. Give them care & knowledge but through friendship; become their life supportive companion and not a superior parent. The best thing you can do is to be YOURSELF. Be real. ONLY REAL THINGS CAN INFLUENCE OTHERS.
Let life teach them! yes, I understand you dont want your child to do the same mistakes you’ve done. But let’s be real; did you learn through experience or words ? Don’t forget that your experience made you into who you are today. So please! give your child SPACE…Let them be, experience and grow. SPACE is truly the most thing they need. Let go of your attachment Now! for the sake of your children.