Nobody is hurting us. Instead we hurt ourselves through others. If we don’t turn our focus inward & become conscious of our nature. We’ll allow the past to repeat it’s patterns.
What do you mean by our nature? “Humans are like the moon, with a bright side and a dark side”. We all have an ego (the dark side). Some let it grow and others don’t. The ego feeds on negative low energy, such as anger, drama, fear, sadness, conflicts, hate and jealousy ..etc.
How does it feed on these emotions? The ego see such emotional state as a chance to activate itself through the emotion. So you find yourself getting angry over little meaningless things or get offended by everything neutral etc… If so, understand that it’s not you but your ego trying to take over you. Once the ego activate itself it grow and become powerful. If u let it keep growing through the negativity; it will eventually control you.
Why people who are driven by the ego are very reactive? Their ego jumps as soon as it finds an opportunity for conflicts or drama. Another nature of the ego is that it’s an ego! It only validate itself and it’s not fair. It takes a conscious human to recognise and admit’s his mistake, which is impossible with the ego. Ego is unconsciousness. It’s not your true self, instead your dark side. Therefore, I excuse unconscious people for their action and i think we should all do so. however, To fight the ego you must BECOME CONSCIOUS OF IT. Yes! As simple as this. Recognise it, watch it and accept it. When you The ego will shrink in size and diminish by time when you notice it’s existence.
Note: The state of no-ego; This state is the state of total awareness and self control. It’s inner peace and calmness. You will experience such life changing bless❤.
For any parent their mindset shift from “ free” to “responsible ” after having a child. As if a heavy weight have dropped on their shoulders. The ego find this an opportunity to grow! It fools you into defining yourself with a parenting role. Thus a mother will play the mother role on her child and gets extremely angry if her child doesn’t follow along. It’s not just a role to her! it’s her identity, who she think she is. Obviously this creates a lot of trouble in a family dynamic. Parents cling on their child’s freedom, emotionally abusing and criticising, all under the role of “parents“. Unfortunately, such madness will cause serious damage in a child’s personality, for example the inability to become irresponsible or decisive. In some severe conditions the child might never recover from playing the role of a ” child “.
Parents! I understand the profound love you’ve for your children. Yet true love can never be expressed through the ego. The ego always seek conflicts to validate itself and the role of a parent is nothing more than a tool for the ego to stay alive inside you. In addition the superior parent role creates a boundary between the child and his parent. Because any relationship that include the ego is inauthentic.
If you really love your child and is concerned about him/ her, ask yourself these questions every time you catch yourself playing the Parent role.
1. Did I like it when my parents did ( your reaction to the situation) this to me ?
2. Is their a better way I can deliver my message ?
3. Who is the better teacher experience or what I’m going to say right now ?
4. What’s the worst case scenario of this situation ?
5. Is my actions and words showing love or the otherwise?
6. Do i really want my child to become the best? And is the “best” other than himself ?
- You can still be a parent without playing the role of a parent!
Give your child love. Give them care & knowledge but through friendship; become their life supportive companion and not a superior parent. The best thing you can do is to be YOURSELF. Be real. ONLY REAL THINGS CAN INFLUENCE OTHERS.
Let life teach them! yes, I understand you dont want your child to do the same mistakes you’ve done. But let’s be real; did you learn through experience or words ? Don’t forget that your experience made you into who you are today. So please! give your child SPACE…Let them be, experience and grow. SPACE is truly the most thing they need. Let go of your attachment Now! for the sake of your children.